Happy Birthday to Me!

You know what would be a fantastic way to spend my birthday morning?? Moving pigs to our new farm!

...said nobody ever. Except for me, while feeling giddy and optimistic after a bottle of wine while we were out for my birthday dinner last night. We are going to borrow a horse trailer for moving the sheep and goats but we wanted to get a head start with the pigs so they could dig up our new garden area.

This is how the pig move went in my head (sound familiar? Reference: "how the lamb move went in my head" vs. "me chasing dogs chasing cows chasing lambs and a dropped popsicle" post from summer 2013):

1. Feed pigs

2. While pigs are eating, Jody and Nathan each grab a pig, easily lift it onto to truck and into a dog crate

3. Repeat with next two pigs.

4. Drive pigs to new farm

5. Put pigs in new eventual (extremely overgrown) garden area to till it, piggy style.

This is what actually happened:

1. Feed pigs

2. Nathan attempts to grab pig. Pig scream/squeals and runs away. All pigs panic. 

3. Nathan attempts to grab another pig. Pig scream/squeals and runs away. All pigs panic.

4. Nathan attemps....you get the idea. Repeat. And repeat again.

5. Nathan and Jody manage to catch one pig together. I'm not sure why that expression about 'greased pigs' even needs the grease part. Pigs are slippery enough ungreased. They are also all muscle. 150 lbs of muscle. By flipping her over, they manage to get her onto the back of the truck and into a crate. Jody manages to hit her head on the barn - twice - and then get her hand squished and then get kicked in the throat. Also, poor stressed out piggy squished her butt right against the latch to the kennel at the exact moment that we had to close the door and squeezed a very large stinky pig poop aimed with perfect precision on Nathan's hand.

6. Nathan and Jody turn around and realize the other 3 pigs have stepped neatly through the electric (turned off) wires and are making a run for the orchard.

7. Nathan and Jody alternate between chasing, calling, pleading, bribing and begging and manage to get the pigs back into their little barn. Jody blocks them in with a board while Nathan runs to get another dog crate (the pigs were bigger than we had thought and wouldn't fit into one of the crates we'd brought). 

8. While Nathan is gone, Jody notices the crated pig pushing herself against the front and top of her crate. Those 150 lbs of muscle effortlessly pop the top and door off the kennel, and the pig is standing uncaged in the truck. 

9. Jody runs to put top and side back on kennel and sits on it to hold it down. Meanwhile, the pigs in the barn knock the board down, run out at full speed, through the wires and into the orchard. Again. 

10. New plan of pigs in an xpen in the truck is put into place. 

11. Nathan and Jody manage to catch each of the pigs without killing themselves. Barely.

12. The rest of the pig move goes according to plan (somehow). 

We both ended up covered in mud, pig poop, cuts and bruises but it was all worth it to see some very happy pigs. My phone isn't cooperating, so photos to come.

Our move to the new farm is going well so far, considering. When we got there for the key handover on Wednesday the house was .... I don't even know how to describe it. It was literally like an episode of hoarders. It was worse than when we saw the house before the homeowner had started packing. Long story short, we have a junk removal service and cleaners coming on Monday and we're cleaning, painting and getting rid of as much junk as possible...all while trying to make sure we have secure spots for all of the animals. Chicken coop is done (photos soon), pigs are obviously there now and everything else is getting there. Phew!! It feels so amazing to have our own farm.  The bad part about all the junk is...obvious...but the good part is that as we're putting everything together we're finding tons of useful farm-y things.